Kristy McNichol might have seemed to have a decent life, but the truth was she was struggling in the background. She ended up leaving the industry and managed to find love with a woman.
Kristy McNichol was well-known for a five-season portrayal of Letitia “Buddy” Lawrence on the 1976 drama series “Family.” The actress found fame and became a star when she was a teenager.
However, even though she was a celebrity, Kristy preferred keeping most of her personal life under wraps. The “Little Darlings” actress’s fans would wonder if she’d started a family after becoming a star.
Some people might have envied Kristy’s life and stardom, but little did they know that she had to face many challenges in her life. Part of those challenges was living in the closet for most of her life.
The following article explores the actress’s personal life, love story, and life struggles. To start, we’ll be delving into the star’s childhood and what type of relationship she had with her mother.
Kristy, born in Los Angeles, California, on September 11, 1962, once revealed to People Magazine’s 1989 cover story that she had an emotional breakdown. The star explained that it was caused, and a delayed reaction, from the high-pressured life she lived during the years of her childhood stardom.
The actress shared how she became a professional from a very young age and had to make money and take on responsibilities. She revealed something quite heartbreaking about her childhood, stating:
“I didn’t live the life of a child. I was living the life of a 30-year-old.”</blockquote/
However, after the breakdown, she received medical attention from a doctor. Her family or friends made sure to be by her side all day long until she started making a slow but steady recovery.
Unlike most people of Kristy’s generation, while they spent their time watching television, she spent hers in front of the camera. She was only three when her parents, Jim and Carollyne, divorced.
Carollyne pushed her children into careers in show business. Two of her three children were led into the industry, with Kristy and her brother Jimmy, doing commercials while their mother worked as their business manager. The family only functioned with roles being reversed, with the star saying:
“I say to my mother all the time, ‘You’re the child.’ And she says, ‘Yeah, you’re the mother.’”
The actress and mother had a relationship that wasn’t ideal for a child. During her People interview, Kristy revealed how she’d been having a distorted relationship with her mother since a young age and also shared one of their conversations, stating:
“I’ve been that way with her since I was 11. I’d say, ‘Who are you going out with tonight? What time do you think you’re coming home?’ I have always been really responsible, and my mom more flighty.”
Kristy was even the one who cleaned their house and became punctual, while the rest of her family got to be carefree. The star later realized she’d always wanted to have a vehicle so she could leave the chaos she experienced at home and carried her behavior onto “Family’s” set, with her recalling:
“I was like a miniature adult. I’d go off to work every day with a little briefcase.”
She felt she grew backward, with most children doing things a certain way while she was doing them in her own. Even her “Empty Nest” co-star Dinah Manoff recalled how much of an adult Kristy had been as a child, and the over-achieving child-star gave some insight into the type of person she was, sharing:
“I didn’t know the word no, because I wanted to please everybody all the time.”
However, more than other people, Kristy wanted to please Carollyne. She revealed how her mother had wanted to act, had some extra roles on some movies, but never got to fulfill her longing, adding:
“I have a feeling this is the classic story: The mother wants to be an actress, and the child ends up doing it.”
In her People article, Kristy also shared how her troubles growing up never ended. She recalled an incident where a director once tried to seduce her when she was a teenager but invited her to his trailer for a lunchtime meeting.
That incident, which almost ended badly, left her questioning the industry she was in. Not being able to find satisfying answers, she started on a journey towards an emotional breakdown.
She had an infamous episode that had to do with her breakdown that almost ended her acting career. Recalling that moment, the then-26-year-old actress honestly confessed:
“I was a total mess.”
In 1982, she was set to film “Just the Way You Are” in the French Alps, but she didn’t want to travel to Europe. The unresolved questions she had led Kristy to have self-doubts and depression, and she was close to falling apart.
The actress informed her manager how she felt while traveling to the airport. She confessed that she didn’t think she should shoot the movie, but people were dismissive about her feelings, with her recalling:
“No one could look at me as this person who was in trouble. It was like, ‘Please, listen to me,’ and no one ever did. I was so confused. I was so depressed. I was so full of anxiety. I was a wreck.”
She struggled with filming for five weeks but was professional enough to deliver a sterling performance. When the camera was rolling, Kristy was able to find enough strength and energy to get through a scene, noting:
“When they said, ‘Cut,’ I became this sad little lost animal in the darkness.”
However, as the shooting continued, the star realized she was completely out of control. She couldn’t eat and spent the whole month in France with hardly enough sleep; but when she did, the dreams were strange, and she lost around 96 lbs and admitted:
“[I had] nonstop crying. Nonstop anxiety. I went nuts.”
The film’s crew had to shut the production down when Kristy’s doctor told her she couldn’t work anymore. They sent her to Los Angeles, where she was hospitalized for her mental health and underwent therapy.
To protect herself and recover, Kristy opted to leave the acting industry. During the same interview with People, she shared how she and her mother would take each day as it came and were living life from one day to the next.
In 2012, after leaving the industry, Kristy found love with a woman named Martie Allen. They had been together for two decades before the “Golden Girls” star came out and revealed she was gay.
The star noted how it felt good to live openly and authentically. The actress’s representative shared the reason she came out was that she wanted to be open and honest and revealed that she was also happy with her life and long-term relationship.
The representative also revealed that Kristy came out in the hopes of helping children who were being bullied. The star thought if she came out, it would help them in some way.
The star’s partner and she managed to live their lives peacefully without being bothered by the media. Allen and Kristy even had a wedding, but it was something they wanted to keep private and it didn’t feature in any magazines or articles.
Kristy and her wife lived in Los Angeles, and she became an acting teacher. After appearing in her final series, “Invasion America,” in 1998, the star taught acting at a private school in the Californian city and found solace in playing tennis.
In 2001, a source close to the actress shared that she was happy and doing good and had surrounded herself with a good support system. One could say she managed to overcome most of her struggles to find peace and a life that she could be proud of.
