In August 2017, Tony Alarcon’s phone rang unexpectedly.
Like many parents, he suspected a telemarketer. He answered the call this time.
Being contacted by the school can be stressful for parents. Tony immediately feared for Demetra, his daughter. Has anything happened?
What he learned startled him.
Northern California had 90-degree summer days. Tony dropped off his 13-year-old daughter Demetra to school that morning. To beat the heat, she wore a blue romper, which none of them anticipated would present problems.
Los Gatos’ Raymond J. Fisher Middle School student Demetra dressed for the weather.
Not everyone liked Demetra’s dress. Her teacher called her romper “too distracting” for boys.
After the teacher warned Demetra her dress was too short, her dad, Tony, ran back to school with jean shorts and a tank top. The school said those outfits were unacceptable too.
Shocked, Tony. He requested Demetra bend over and touch her toes before the school administration. Nothing dangles. Nothing untoward. I don’t get this dress code,” he told TODAY.
However, the school found her outfits “distracting.” Tony had to get Demetra some leggings from his car because it was 90 degrees.
She was humiliated.
Tony got frustrated, stating, “She’s just a kid. Her age is 13. Sex symbolism is not her goal. We’re denying her her wish to be comfortable and attend class.”
Demetra had been in trouble for her outfits before. A week earlier, she was criticized for a visible bra strap. Demetra told the San Jose Mercury News, “When I got dress coded last week, they said my bra strap was showing.” What’s the big deal with wearing a bra?
Tony, a prosperous investment advisor and father of two, persisted. Angry at an unfair rule that disproportionately impacted girls, he complained on social media. Parents nationwide agreed that the school’s clothing code was antiquated and unjust to girls.
“Demetra’s not alone. Sit in the school parking lot to witness that, Tony said. “Many girls want to be comfortable, but they feel forced to wear leggings even in 100-degree weather.”
Tony thought parents, not schools, should decide what their kids wear. He concerned that telling young girls their clothing is a “distraction” to boys could hurt them emotionally.
Tony’s dress code modification was covered by numerous media outlets. The school released a statement without speaking on camera:
The Los Gatos Union School District says proper attire and grooming promote a healthy learning environment. “Students should wear clothes that reflect our learning community’s values.”
Tony’s efforts mattered. His advocacy led the Los Gatos Union School District to reform its dress code to make it fairer and less harsh for all pupils.
The school head, Lisa Fraser, stated that the clothing code, named “Fashion Faux Pas,” applies to boys and girls. Indoor headgear and hoods are prohibited, as are visible underwear, unsuitable logos or slogans, and shorts must have 4-inch inseams.
“There has always been a dress code,” Fraser told a publication. These are basic proper behavior principles. I can set school rules, but they should represent community values.”
Tony Alarcon’s tenacity in starting a discussion concerning school dress standards and young girls proved that one parent’s voice can make a difference.
Your thoughts on the school’s dress code? Do you or your kids face similar situations? Comment with your views and experiences!